JEFFREY TOBIN: Change your world
October 27, 2013 1:40 AM

I have to premise this little story with the fact that I am very happily married and have been for 33 wonderful years. I fully expect that the relationship I have with my wife, Laura, will continue — until death do us part.

Having said that, I feel that I can tell you that I recently figured out how to pick up women! I know, that doesn’t jibe with what I just told you about my wife, but I did!

Regardless of your gender or background: You need to know about my new technique for picking up women. It will change your world, at home as well as the office.

I was enjoying an outside dinner at a seafood restaurant on the Chesapeake Bay. Right in the middle of the crowded dance area was a beacon of beauty.

Oh sure, she was attractive, but that’s not what caught my attention. It was her smile. It lit up the place like the corona around the moon. If a smile were contagious, hers would infect the world.

So I decided to tell her how much I appreciated her smile.

“You’re going to think that I’m making a move on you,” I said. “I’m not. I just want you to know that when you smile, it lights up everything around you.”

I then deftly turned to walk away.

She suddenly leapt into the air and wrapped her arms around my neck. We swung around a couple of times before I put her back on her feet.

She was not drunk, and her husband was right there. She was just happy, and she was happy because someone else appreciated something good and unique about her.

Sincere appreciation is not expressed often enough, and your employees are starved for it. It reinforces something in them that they don’t often feel or hear: “Hey, I’m good at that!” And the response? Well I don’t know that you’ll be “picking up women” the way I did, but you’ll definitely see people leap into the air.

Express sincere appreciation and you will change the world around you. Here are the five ways to do it:

1. Find it. There is something to appreciate in everyone. When you look, you will find it.

2. Say it. When you find it, tell that person. Don’t be insincere; that’s manipulation.

3. See it. Look for a response in that person. See how it changes their demeanor.

4. Repeat it. When it strikes you again — and it will — say it again.

5. Practice it. Like any good habit, you need to develop it. Create a reminder of some kind for yourself. For me? Well, for one thing, my wife and I are still married even after I’ve told this story to you. And that’s something I’ll appreciate for years, even while picking up other women.

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